Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Woops! Upside yo Haid!

A Florida woman is facing a felony domestic violence charge after she allegedly tried to strike her girlfriend last night with a “female sex toy,” according to a police report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/florida-sex-toy-assault-784098

Friday, August 12, 2011

Man throws potatoes at 66-year-old woman in Venice Walmart, police say | HeraldTribune.com

I say this all the time: you can't make this stuff up!
Officers say that Grant approached the woman inside Walmart, 17000 Tamiami Trail, and claimed to work for God. When the woman told him she did not think so, Grant reportedly told her she was going to Hell, screamed profanities at her, pushed her shopping cart and started throwing potatoes from the produce section at her.

Man throws potatoes at 66-year-old woman in Venice Walmart, police say | HeraldTribune.com: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Friday, August 5, 2011

'Rent Is Too Damn High Party' Founder Being Evicted From New York Apartment - FoxNews.com

'Rent Is Too Damn High Party' Founder Being Evicted From New York Apartment - FoxNews.com:
"The man who ran for New York governor under the Rent Is Too Damn High Party banner claims he is being kicked out of his Manhattan apartment -- because the rent is too damn low, the New York Post reported Friday.

The Brits

**SMART ARSED ANSWER ****5**
> It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would
you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
> "What are my choices?" the man asked.
> "Yes or no," she replied.*
**> **
**> SMART ARSED ANSWER 4***
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
> The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead." *
**> **
**> SMART ARSED ANSWER 3***
> The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for
speeding, rolled down his window.
> "I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.
> The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
> When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid onhis way
without a ticket.*
**> **
**> SMART ARSED ANSWER 2*******
> A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up
that read " Low Bridge Ahead. "Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
> The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ranout of
diesel!"*
**> **
**> SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR***
> A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils oftomorrow's
final exam."Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no otherexcuses whatsoever!"
> A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand
andasked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
> The entire class was reduced tolaughterand sniggering. When silence
was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."

Weird TV news moment

Weird TV news moment: To some, suspect sketch looks like WJZ reporter telling the story - Baltimore Sun:

Zebron and James


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